BacK to ActIon....

fuuuuuh..

gap yg terlalu besar saya rasa
2009- 2015.... 

6 tahun sy tidak meng'updatekan' blog 

tidak tergerak hati sebenarnya nak update..
zaman di bangku U rajin lalu..
sejak berprofesion mmg xde masa la katakanya

entah mengapa hari ini tergerak hati kecilku untuk berkata2 berkongsi cerita 
di laman ini...

mungkin sudah tiba masanya untuk kembali 
menulis di blog..
mungkin kali ini lebih ilmiah dan perkongsian ilmu

kita tunggu dan lihat dulu...

salam muhibah...

waiting.....

after completed my degree in year 2011

waited for almost 1 year

while waiting for posting,worked as Customer Service In GdeX

life went just like that...

movies every week, working some times for 6 days for week ,everyday music 

been so independent , roaming alone n met new friends .......

life  went so for almost 1 year......

EVERYTHING CHANGED WITH SINGLE LETTER

received letter saying that posted in Sarawak

EVERYTHING CHANGED...

UPdaTinG

hyaiz..

after long short gap back to blog..


updating o%--25%--58%--100%

DONE!!

Time o tyme

24 hours
tend to tink ..so bored with such long hours

yet

once u in the midle of rush.
24 hours -gosh not enuf at all...

in my uni life..i felt so whereby i felt that 24 hours nt enuf at all for my routine actvities
but now ....
wen i'm in wrking phase..

24 hours is more than enuf
enjoy more by sleeping,listening to musics ,watching movies,hangout with frens, shopping, grooming,cooking and last but least facebooking...

religion rituals.....

rituals...

actual all start with science & end up with it too..

religion is sumthg that we practice in daily life
religion is sumthg that we believe
religion is sumthg that indentified who you are
religion is sumthg which help u lead ur life in better way

YET

Today

religion is sumthg that making money
religion is sumthg that can divert you to bad 1
religion is sumthg that can earn publicity
religion is sumthg that making you fool infront of other religion

people tend to forget the actual religion are
using religion for own sake
which lead to many problems to others...

2012---jeng2

...2012 ...
arrrived...

still waiting for posting...
hope wont end this year with hopes....

begin the year with happiness..
looking for same at the end....

2011----here is your end

• 
  finally today is 31 DEC 2011
  
  
  the date that i awaited most
  I just want this year end as soon as possible..
  
  from the beginning till the end--
  i only experience bitter moments more than sweet moments...
  
  i can count my happy moments ---with fingers...
  
  
  hope for better days in year 2012...
  

heaven heaven--sp

jus came frm christmas holiday

so happy as able to eat wat ever i want

-durian..omg--i'm so passion on it

-mum cooks--i realy wanted to eat n finaly hapened

-gadjets-- i dint expect will received phone frm dad..w100 yippi...

-clothes--mum bought 1 set of punjabi ...hahahah....

this holiday was the best i guess for this year...

gigi-------sakit oh

mentah mentah,tahun 2011 nak abis

gigi aku buat hal...x larat

gigi yang dah hilang 2/3 ,cover ngan gusi pulak for 7yrs...
adus


cabut jugak akhirnya selepas doktor berjuang selama sejam

ingat lepas cabut boleh blasah jer makan...
tapi gusi bengkak pulak..

skrg demam pulak

x sbar bk balik kg la....

sakit sakit sakitttttt!!!!

LeT's cHecK it oUt yEaR 2011

A chronology of year 2011

JANUARY
great shock of my life...i learn wat is money & their values & few people TRUE colour-till now i havent out from the shock when i gt to noe my loved ones true colour

FEBRUARY-End MAY
life as practical teacher starts...omg ...funny..trilling...tired...test patience ...

END MAY
as Gdex staff...training period...


JUNE
Problem shipment statff at Gdex HQ...learn to solve personal peoblem rather than shipments

JULY
most awaited moment in LIFE-my CONVOCATION-

AUGUST
enjoyed month -shopping to max

SEPTEMBER
become celebrity at DATARAN MERDEKA for HARI MALAYSIA

OCTOBER
my bufday--the date that i always regret..y i hapen to born in to this world....
DEEPAVALI-tragedy ever after-i wish i would not celebrate such bufday

NOVEMBER
PD trip-enjoyed to max...afta long gap--holiday mood

DECEMBER till this moment
My cousin engagement...enjoyed to max...


.......................... LUKING FOR BETTER YEAR................

so long......

wah..after long gap

I'M BACK TO MY BLOG

not to say tat i'm buzy but actualy tats d fact...

tired of life...

sudenly crossed into ma mind to update my blog...

since year 2011 soon will reach the end...tot wanna update my progress frm JAN- DEC

summary of the year will b...

year full of dissapointment & stressfull....

Bayi

tergamak sungguh manusia kini

sanggup membunuh anak kandungan sendiri

ANAK KANDUNGAN SENDIRI

kalo tak sanggup nak tanggung

jangan gatal nak buat...

kalo tergatal juga

pakailah benda2 yang patut dipakai

nie tak...tergatal sangat

sampai lupa pakai benda yang penting

sehingga menjadi dosa

dosa kerana pandai membuat

tapi tak pandai nak tanggung

ari nie

dalam hidupku

aku terasa sangat dengan insan yang .........

arggghhhhhhhhh

aku tak sanggup menatap wajah bayi....

aku tak sanggup....

macam mana boleh sampai hati

untuk mengugurkan anak sendiri

darah daging sendiri...

DNA sendiri

oh tuhan...

permulaan

tahun 2011 telah pun mengambil tempatnya

permulaan tahun 2011 disambut bersama rakan-rakanku

ketibaan mereka dari KL

memeriahkan suasana rumahku yang suram

Ram, Poones,Gowri,Jay n Ashok.....

riuh sungguh rumahku....

hariku penuh dengan keriangan

gelak ketawa ....

rindu pada mereka....

year 2011

tahun 2010 sudah pun melabuhkan tirainya

dan memberi laluan untuk tahun 2011

tahun 2010 merupakan tahun yang sangat genting dalam hidupku

aku banyak menghabiskan masa untuk menangis

banyak dugaan ...

amat memilukan hati saya

semua impian saya tidak kesampaian.....

impian kekal sebagai impian.....

tahun 2010 juga mengajarku untuk berdikari

:- aku berjaya 'bag pack' ke singapura

aku merantau dari tg malim ke johor

tanpa bimbingan

secara keseluruhannya tahun 2010 meninggalkan

mimpi buruk pada diri ku..........

harap tahun 2011

akan menjadi tahun kegemaran ku......

my Mr T

haahhahahaha.....

it been a mysterious fella

in Facebook

hurm hurm

actually who is d hell Mr T?

Mr T............

is an ordinary person in tis earth

who deserved to be loved

cared, n so on

who is Mr T 4 me?

d question which played in my frens mind ol d tyme

hurm hurm

guys.....

i like to b silent in tis matter....

bcos its very sensitive matter in my life

bcos i loved love n still loving him......

it been years

i f these feeling 4 him

but i'm not dared enuf to express it him

guys again ...

dont mistake wit tis Mr T....

this Mr T is really a diff person from my 8years crush Mr TD....

they r nt d same person.....

-Chapter Closed-

cum bek to my new Mr T chapter

v r not together..

actually neva been together

tats d truth

NEVA BEEN TOGETHER

but

i wished

i cud be wit him in future.....

its not love

its not about frenship

its not about crush

but its about sumthing diff from above

its a kinda of mixture feelings.......

which no 1 can define such feelings!!!!

oh my Mr T....

will remain as a Mystery Man in Facebook

as well to others....

n

will be my Mr T always....

as i will not express my love to u.....

deePavaLLi....

well

it been more than 1 week

after deepavali of cos

hurm as usual nothing new

its tat my elder younger brother wasn't wit us on deepavalli

bcos he don f d Chopper to land in Kemaman

so he came ryte after deepavalli..

on 6th Nov at 12.30am...

well wat to do...

job cum 1st

one of my best buddie was wit me

Jess, she was wit us

all of 10days...

she learnt how to do murruku n other traditional foods

n she has her own new punjabbi suit as well

n cum bek to my sad story

mostly ...

not mostly actually ever year

every year i will have more than 6 dress

no matter jeans t-shirt or punjabbi or sareee

but tis year..

very sad..i only f 2 pairs of punjabbi...

oh noe...

i'm damn sad.....

not parents fault at all

bcoz they olry gav me RM 500 in voucher

n Rm 200 in cash...

yet i didnt spend d money 4 deepavalli stuff

but i spent olmost ol d money on practical dress.....

sop sop sop....

wat a sad story

i was so excited abt my practical until i totally forget abt my festival

wat an untiruteble gal i am....

hurm hurm hurm

oh yea...

toaly 4get abt d major part of deepavali...

wat else ....

mercun la....

tis year..4 d ever 1st tyme

my dad bought 2 8feet of fireworks...

hahahha

v fired it..

semme majja....

hurm hurm....

during d preparation til now...

i gt my cough...

unstoppable cough

very irritating

wat to do....

i tink i took to much of ice witout my knowledge i guess

till now....

still coughing!!!!!

deepavalli went edy but don noe wen tis cough will leave me.......

buzy? i don tink so

it been months

i didnt update my lovely blog

well...

i'm busy..

errrr....

its not true...

i'm not busy

bcoz i can simply online in facebook n tagged ol d tyme

its just tat

i've no mood to update my blog

seems i don f any hot news

hurm hurm

actually again i lied

i do f news to share

but i tink tis is not d right place to share...

so let it be in me....

haiz haiz....

now

i'm at d end of my sem n my year in UPSI

i went through lots of obstacles

surviving in UPSI 4 past 3 n half years

really an unforgettable memories

i learned tat

NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE

bcoz human creates d rules

n

human f d rights to change those rules....

i will survive wit rules n witout rules......

frIENds..........so comPlicateD

I close door,
and shut off my feelings,
Don't have the strength to care anymore,
my heart can't take this bleeding sky anymore.
You know i still love you,
But I'm disappointed in you!!

YET

Sometimes I just sit ..with your lovely face in my head, and I gaze over the perfect imperfections that I never want to change. I know you don't know it yet, darlin', but you're my inspiration ..that flicker of light I keep trying to grasp ..but it's always taken away.

It comes back though, burnin' like the flames of hell. Strong and alive, shattering my world to pieces. The embers dance along my skin, and whisper little love notes in my ear.

Sometimes I wish you'd sing with me, but you'd rather scream instead. I guess I can handle that. I always did want to be heard. Let the rage contaminate the air. Let it fill every pore around, and strangle the innocence out of all the children. It's time to grow up and live in the real world now. It's time to stop thinkin' this fairytale of mine will ever come true.

..but

I think.. I can live with that. I think I can be happy.. as long as I get to scream with you

i miss u all.......my friends !!!!

sHe sTOLe my heARt..

hey oru vaarththai mozhiyaalae

ennai uruga vaiththaaL

ennai uruga vaiththaaL

oru paarvai vazhiyaalae

ennai nerungi vittaaL

ennai nerungi vittaaL

oru minnal idipOlae

ennai thudikkavittaL

ennai thudikkavittaL

oru kaathal varathaalae

ennai aethethO seithuvittaL

she stole my heart

she stole my heart

she stole my heart

she stole my little little heart

If U're in a relationship, married or none, read this. U'll know why at the end.

MARRIAGE

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6.

By Stephanie Halmilton